As a little girl I would love to play outside and gather the beautiful, bright yellow flowers that I would complement with white flowers. I remember gathering them all together in a bouquet to present to those that were dear to my heart. I did not realize at the time that dandelions and the unknown white flowers were weeds. What I do recall is the smile of gratitude that was on the face of those that I was attempting to bring joy to. Flowers are something that I always found to bring happiness and joy to others and a sense of appreciation to my soul. I recall attending the homegoing services of a family member as a child and the minister sharing , we should not wait until one has passed away to give them their flowers, we should give them while they are living.
This message moved me that as I continued to evolve into womanhood, I desired fresh flowers from those that I thought adored me and I would give fresh flowers to those I adored. In desiring flowers from significant others, I was told I should not want them because it was a waste of money, that flowers simply die. My response would typically be that flowers make me happy. Who doesn’t want to see the woman in their life happy? To me this was the smallest of deeds to put a smile on my face. Unfortunately, as a survivor of intimate partner violence flowers also came to represent an apology after a violent encounter. Neither message is of sustaining value and representative of what I learned as a young girl. The message the minister shared continues to resonate in my soul and I have purposed it to have new meaning.
As I think about giving flowers to those while living it represents a celebration of life and has much more significant meaning to me now as I can look back on what I have endured and overcome. Although, I may not have received bouquets from a pristine florist, or the neighborhood grocery store my life has been filled with a beauty of blooms. I have received a beauty of blooms with an undeniable fragrance through the life of my sons. During the formative years of their life, they witnessed their biological father be abusive to their mother. The chances of them growing up, being incarcerated or worse, death, but God. During this season with the guidance of a loving bonus father and presence of God they are both college graduates, respectable black men doing well in this world. There is no doubt in my mind they will continue to walk boldy in their purpose and pour into the lives of others.
In spite of the lack of love from my mother, God has always placed in my life women who are representative of love, strength, and faith. Each of these women helped me withstand rejection by affirming my very being through their love and support. Some of these women were in my life for certain seasons of my life to ensure that I was watered with words of love and provided me with safety and assurance needed to reach my full potential. The same care I would take in gathering the undesirable weed is the same attention that was given to me of the women that have so graciously saved my life.
As I reflect on the beauty of flowers, their vibrant colors, and various fragrances I am reminded of the many blessings that have filled my life with unsurmountable joy and peace. The peace of knowing that I stand and live representative of the beauty of blooms.
